Introducing a sex toy as a couple feels, for many people, more nerve-wracking than actually using it. But research is clear: couples who play together and communicate openly about sex report higher satisfaction — not because something was "wrong," but because exploring together strengthens the connection.
In this buyer's guide we help you choose. Not based on "what's most powerful," but on what fits you as a couple. We cover the main types, what to look for, and which option suits which situation.
Why a Toy as a Couple?
A couples toy doesn't solve a problem — it opens a possibility. It can add a new sensation, shift focus from performance to pleasure, and be a playful way to talk about desires. Read our guide on introducing sex toys to your partner if you're unsure how to start the conversation.
What to Look For When Choosing
Material. As with all toys: body-safe silicone is the standard. Non-porous, easy to clean, safe for both partners.
Shared or individual use. Some toys are designed to use together during sex; others add something for one partner. Decide what you're after.
Noise and discretion. Especially relevant if you don't live alone.
Cleaning. A toy you use together must be easy to clean — hygiene counts double with shared use.
The Main Types Compared
Vibrating cockring
A cockring with vibration enhances stimulation for both partners during penetration. The wearer experiences firmer, longer-lasting erections; the receiving partner gets clitoral stimulation without anyone having to hold anything. The ODES Surrender is designed for exactly this shared pleasure — ideal as a first couples toy. Read more in our blog on cockrings.
Dual-stimulation vibrator
A toy that stimulates internally and externally can be used during partnered sex to add extra sensation for one partner. The ODES Duo delivers dual stimulation and is versatile — solo or together.
Versatile couples vibrator
For couples who want to experiment with different forms of stimulation, a versatile vibrator like the ODES Unite leaves room to discover what works for you.
Which Suits Which Situation?
You want to add something during penetration → vibrating cockring (Surrender). Non-intimidating, immediately clear purpose.
You want versatile, shared stimulation → dual-stimulation vibrator (Duo).
You want to experiment freely → a versatile couples vibrator (Unite).
Browse the full collection for couples to compare.
Common Mistakes
Starting too big. A first couples toy doesn't need to be the most advanced model. Start accessible.
Skipping the conversation. Introducing a toy silently during sex itself can be confusing. Talk about it first, relaxed, outside the bedroom.
Forgetting lube. Always use a water-based lubricant with silicone toys.
FAQ
Does a couples toy mean I'm not enough for my partner?
No. A toy is an addition, not a replacement. Research shows shared use actually strengthens intimacy.
Which toy is best to start with?
For most couples, a vibrating cockring like the Surrender is the least intimidating introduction.
How do we keep a shared toy hygienic?
Clean before and after each use, and use a compatible lubricant. Store clean and dry.
Conclusion
The best couples toy isn't the most powerful or most expensive — it's the one that fits what you're looking for together. Start with a conversation, choose something accessible, and see it as a way to discover together rather than something to "fix."
Ready to look? Check out the ODES Surrender, the ODES Duo, or the whole collection for couples.
Sources:
1. Herbenick, D., et al. (2009/2010). Prevalence and characteristics of vibrator use. Journal of Sexual Medicine.
2. Mallory, A. B., et al. (2019). Couples' sexual communication and dimensions of sexual function: A meta-analysis. Journal of Sex Research.
